the height itself speaks: an oath is sworn from the base to the peak, and you drift towards that promise. as ghosts only grow more opaque, lives don’t end, only dissipate. what makes you feel invisible makes you want to stay invisible, makes you want to stay unchanging, everything said worth saying, every position a posture, every motion a movement, every statement a silence. diminished as expressed, if perfectly literate, or remain in the body, hidden in the breath, scratched into the “I”s, and you sink and rise and sink and rise and sink again. presented formally, carefully shaped into the sharpest sounds to describe what’s gone from the form of me, I’m always already decided, I’m always already determined, I’m always already remembered for the way I departed. It’s not the knowledge it’s the knowing, as if you could know anything without knowing everything, as if you could say anything without saying everything. there’s no quiet world within, no shining secret inside. nothing asks permission. nothing revealing hides. it’s just that things grow false as they move away. I just want to mean the things I say.
credits
from Summer 2015 demo,
released August 13, 2015
"sink and rise and sink and rise and sink again" taken from edna st. vincent millay's "love is not all" / sonnet xxx published in 1931. everything else by graham, joni and amy.
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